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  • Results 1 to 9 of 9

    Thread: OC: Gust

    1. #1
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      OC: Gust

      Name: Gust

      Gender: Male

      Species: Pegasus

      Approximate age: 17

      Picture and/or Description: Broader in build then most pegasai (big mac size) but has larger wings to compensate. He has a light brown coat, and dark brown mane and eyes.

      Background: Gust, is not what one would consider an average Pegasus. Ever since he started flight school in Cloudsdale, teachers have noticed his lack of attention during flight lessons. They have tried to regain his attention, and he pay attention would for 5 mins or so when they were able to, but then he would lose focus again. He would often stare off into space, or doodle on pieces of paper. As he stared off into space, he would often think about well, a lot of things. Like how magic works, or why is everything where they lived so orderly, but in the ever free forest it's chaotic? He also often thought about why ponies behave the way they do, what makes them tick? Or about the Princesses, how did they come into existence? Where did their ancestors come from? He thought like this often, but never actually went to find out the answers.

      He also rarely asked anypony these questions, because A. Who would he ask them to? His flight school teachers? How would they know? All they know is how to teach flying! B. He wasn't the type of pony to go through lots of library books just to find one answer. Sometimes he didn't even really want the answer, and thought it was more fun thinking of why then to hear the answer, because well, sometimes the answer is boring. Besides thinking about stuff, Gust also liked to sing. He was in a local teen choir, and was a bass 2 (almost the deepest you can go) and was very good at singing older types songs, such as “Ain't that a kick in the head!” By Dean Martin ((And not a single Pony Pun was given that day)). He would often sing around his house while doing chores, or when he was bored, or when there was an awkward silence in a conversation with his friends. So anyway, he barely scraped through flight school, graduating at the age of 12. After this... he really didn't do much. He either just walked around Cloudsdale and thought about complext things, hung out with friends doing random stuff, or he went to the local teen choir whenever he had to. However, around the age of fifteen, he started to yearn to do more then what he was doing, to go to other places, like to Ponyville. So, he did do that for a while, he would go to Ponyville, or spend a day in Fillydelphia, and it did ease this rising feeling of wanting more, but it began to come back slowly around the age of 16. He wanted something to do in life. At the of age 17, he finally came to the conclusion that it was time for him to leave Cloudsdale, to go out and persue other things. He decided, that he should try to become a singer at a resturant, since that was his special talent.

      He thought about it for a while, and decided to talk to his mom about living somewhere else, perhaps in Ponyville. After a long conversation, although she still thought he should stay and think about it some more, and that it wasn't the best idea, he was able to convince her of letting him live in Ponyville. She said she would allow him, but only for a trial 3 months, at the end of the 3 months, if he has not proven to her that he can hold down a job and a place to live, then he would have to move back in with her. She gave him enough to pay for one month of rent in most apartments. Excited, he flew up to her and hugged her tight, repeating “Thank you!” over and over again, before zipping into his room and packing his luggage. After he left the house, he made sure to stop at all of his friends houses', and say goodbye to them. Finally, after he was done with all of that, he began his flight toward Ponyville. ((This is where his story leaves off, and will be picked up in RP. Please, if ANYONE reading has any critiques, you may give them, I havn't written an OC in a very long time, so I am out of practice (and even when I did I wasn't that good at it...) so help me out, give me some tips!))

      Personality: Very curious, kind of shy, open-minded, polite, respects adults, normally not very talkative (unless you are his friend), easy-going, empathetic, avoids physical fights, however likes to challange opposing ideas when he gets the opportunity. He almost never gets angry, a pony would have to essentially make it their job to make him slightly mad. This is because he bottles up his anger, and pushes it to the back of his mind. Because of this, when he does get angry, it's more like an explosive anger caused by an acummulation of small events over a very long period of time, and he often have a hard time controling himself at this point. Again, this happens VERY rarely. He is a forgiving pony, but up to a certain point. If you trick him or humiliate him, it will take longer for him to forgive you, and when he does he often wont trust you that much any longer. He rarely has problems with anypony, and tries to get along with everyone.

      Cutie Mark: A bass cleft. He got this when he first joined the local teen choir, at the age of 13. They required him to sing his favorite song in front of the Chior. He picked "White Winter ((White Christmas))" to sing. He got the Cutie Mark right in the middle of his singing, which he was informed of after he was finished. Although, he didn't really plan on being a singer when he grows up, he liked it because he thought the mark looked pretty cool, so he didn't mind.

      Use: Both RPs.
      Last edited by WhalePonyHybrid; 02-13-2013 at 01:53 PM.

    2. #2
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      From what we've seen in the show, there is no definitive "high school". This is one of the problems that comes from trying to just completely ponify yourself without making concessions to the universe. I think that his background would make more sense if he were naturally curious, but took that curiosity in his own hooves. Indeed, I think this would actually fit better with his cutie mark and stated talent in addition to fitting into the universe more neatly. Your character's decision to run off and be a singer while finding himself seems somewhat silly, given his stated talent and usual interests, but I don't think that it is objectionable enough to keep him from being accepted. There should, however, be some mention of him being at least halfway decent at singing somewhere in his background. Currently, the talent comes out of nowhere.


      p.s. You should spell the names of sciences right if your character hopes to pursue them.

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    3. #3
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      Updated. (I updated it hours ago, though I just wanted to post this here to make it clear that I did update it ^_^;; )

    4. #4
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      Quote Originally Posted by WhalePonyHybrid View Post
      Updated. (I updated it hours ago, though I just wanted to post this here to make it clear that I did update it ^_^;; )
      This is better, but there's no reason for him to have attended flight school until he was 17, that's the kind of thing that only lasts until adolescence at which point most ponies would begin training for their careers (at least, this is how the RP Mods see it). Also, Cloudsdale isn't a longish flight away from Ponyville. In "Hurricane Fluttershy", it takes Spitfire around 3 seconds to make it from Cloudsdale to the outskirts of Ponyville. The fact that your OC really isn't too invested in his talent other than being happy that it looks cool kind of bothers me, but I know that this is more or less what you wanted to do with it so I won't stop it.

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

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      It seems like you're kind of nit-picking with the distance thing, but I fixed that. Also about the cutie mark story... it didn't say that he wouldn't be a singer when he grows up, it just said that he didn't plan on it happening. However if you look closely at his background, you would see that I didn't allude to him being anyone thing, he could be several different things when he grows up, and being a singer isn't excluded from it. And I plan on actually giving (or more like, finding) him a singing job when he gets to Ponyville in RP, so it all works out in the end. He'd probably do science stuff on the side (I wont do crazy RP rule breaking experiments, I promise xD. It'd be stuff that you did in your Highschool chem class), but not as a main career. Also I fixed the age thing.

    6. #6
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      Quote Originally Posted by WhalePonyHybrid View Post
      It seems like you're kind of nit-picking with the distance thing, but I fixed that. Also about the cutie mark story... it didn't say that he wouldn't be a singer when he grows up, it just said that he didn't plan on it happening. However if you look closely at his background, you would see that I didn't allude to him being anyone thing, he could be several different things when he grows up, and being a singer isn't excluded from it. And I plan on actually giving (or more like, finding) him a singing job when he gets to Ponyville in RP, so it all works out in the end. He'd probably do science stuff on the side (I wont do crazy RP rule breaking experiments, I promise xD. It'd be stuff that you did in your Highschool chem class), but not as a main career. Also I fixed the age thing.
      All due respect, nit picking your submission is literally my job. And regarding his future career, I'd just point out that, in the show, cutie mark and the pony's daily pursuits are the same. That's kind of the point of the cutie marks. The pony finds out what they love to do and then they do that thing. Regardless, you're determined to have a pony that can do whatever he wants and, quite frankly, you'd clearly rather he just not have a cutie mark or that he return to something that allows him to do anything. I think it's silly, so I said so, but I also said that it wouldn't keep me from accepting your OC.

      The changes that you made seem pretty lazy, to be honest. He spent 5 years doing... nothing? He wasn't looking for an idea of what he wanted to do? He was just hanging around and sporadically practicing singing (which he didn't plan on doing for the rest of his life anyway)? I suppose that's feasible, if that's how you want your OC to be, but I just wanted to make sure that you realized you just wrote a third of your OC's life off in that sentence.

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    7. #7
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      Quote Originally Posted by Rarity View Post
      All due respect, nit picking your submission is literally my job. And regarding his future career, I'd just point out that, in the show, cutie mark and the pony's daily pursuits are the same. That's kind of the point of the cutie marks. The pony finds out what they love to do and then they do that thing. Regardless, you're determined to have a pony that can do whatever he wants and, quite frankly, you'd clearly rather he just not have a cutie mark or that he return to something that allows him to do anything. I think it's silly, so I said so, but I also said that it wouldn't keep me from accepting your OC.

      The changes that you made seem pretty lazy, to be honest. He spent 5 years doing... nothing? He wasn't looking for an idea of what he wanted to do? He was just hanging around and sporadically practicing singing (which he didn't plan on doing for the rest of his life anyway)? I suppose that's feasible, if that's how you want your OC to be, but I just wanted to make sure that you realized you just wrote a third of your OC's life off in that sentence.
      1. He wasn't sporadically practicing music. He was attending music lessons for the teen choir... to be fair I didn't make that clear enough, so I'll revise it. EDIT: Oh I didn't even put that in there at all. Sorry !
      2. The waste 4 years of his life thing is a good point, I'll make some changes to that.
      3. The sudden idea part is also a good point, I'll make it more of a thing where he had started to get the idea when he was around 15, but finally decided to act on it two years later.
      I'll think about the cutie mark.
      Last edited by WhalePonyHybrid; 02-13-2013 at 01:54 PM.

    8. #8
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      It's updated.

    9. #9
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      Feel free to use him in RP

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

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