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  • Results 1 to 8 of 8
    1. #1
      Senior Member
      I...I can't take it...I just
      want to be normal...
       
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      Midnight Sparkle's Avatar
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      OC: Midnight Sparkle

      Name: Midnight Sparkle
      Species: Unicorn
      Gender: Female
      Age: 13
      Personality: Midnight is Shy in the way that she will not hardly speak or interact with someone she does not know at first but when she warms up to the person she can be very outgoing. She is very hyper when she is around her friends and is also very giggly. She has an aura around her that says, "I will find my Talent, and I will be good at it!"

      (Appearance)
      Eye Color: Red
      Mane/Tail Color: Two-tone Black/Red
      Fur Color: Purple with Black marks
      Cutie Mark: None, She has many things she is okay at but has not found her calling.

      Background History: Midnight is the daughter of a Unicorn couple who lives in Canterlot, it is unknown as to why she has the marks on her body but she, nor her family cares. Seeing as she is still very young, she has yet to find her cutie mark. When she finally turned the age of 13 years old her parents allowed her to go explore Equestria as long as she writes to them every week. Along her way around the land of Equestria she has made a few friends but has also made her fair share of enemies. She did not make enemies on purpose and most, simply put, just did not like her. Midnight has since settled down in Ponyville with a friend and continues her quest for her cutie mark. Midnight has no siblings and of course is an only child to her parents who are among the highest social status in Canterlot. Though this never rubbed off on her and she has quite an adventurous and tomboyish attitude about her. She is shy to meet new people but is very open and hyper when she grows to know them.

      (Sorry If I am not specific enough. It has been a while.)
      Last edited by Midnight Sparkle; 07-04-2013 at 12:18 AM. Reason: The first draft WAS a little rough as Twilight Sparkle stated.

    2. #2
      Count
      Bleh..
       
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      Wiran's Avatar
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      I'll save the trouble for mods and just say you lack MUCH MUCH info. Much more for personality and more for background.
      COME ON AND SLAM
      Spoiler: When someone tries to insult me 

    3. #3
      She's Cute Though, So It's Alright
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      Twilight Sparkle's Avatar
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      Hello there!

      I'll be the one working to help you tweak what you need to fit our rules, so without further ado, let's get started.

      Starting off, the idea of hybrid animals is not one we've ever seen explored in Equestria. Yes, in the real world there are hybrid species of animals, though the vast majority of them are bred only in captivity, as their natural habitats do not coexist. The same, in a way, could be said for Equestria -- we don't exactly know where the Zebra's natural habitat is, but it's certainly not anywhere near Ponyville. Regardless of habitation, there is inevitably a difference between the human-world concept of cross-breeding animals and the pony-world concept of cross breeding their own "intelligent species". With all that in consideration, it would seem to be a bit more logical to simply choose a species (zebras are allowed).

      Pre-established canon relationships must be approved by the RPer for those canon characters if they are to be allowed. For now, I'm going to have to ask that you remove any mention of Zecora that would require her to have knowledge of your backstory, as interweaving canon in this fashion makes it incredibly difficult for canon RPers to keep up with what their own character is supposed to be aware of. However, you are welcome to contact the member who RP's as Zecora (I believe it is the user Zecora as well) and ask their permission if you wish.

      The rest of Midnight's background seems to work in an attempt to draw grief from other RPers, and does not appear to resemble much of what we find Equestria to be like. Being abandoned and orphaned as a child simply cannot be allowed. She should know both her parents, and, if she doesn't live with them, she should have a good reason why... "unknown" isn't going to work. Her quest for her cutie mark is all well and good, but it appears she is homeless at the present moment, and has been from the age of 12. Keeping in mind that the CMC are generally considered to be roughly 10 years of age, 12 seems a bit young to be put into the real world entirely alone, with no guidance, talent to work at, or even place to call home. You say she "made a few friends but has usually only been looked at as odd and shunned because there was hardly any if not none like her" in the end of your background, something that really seems to stick out as showing the desire to have this character obtain sorrow and have others feel bad for her. Speaking from the knowledge and experience of the RP (as well as what we've seen in canon, such as the outcome of Bridle Gossip), this would serve to quickly become falsified... nearly everypony will talk to you regardless, as RPing alone is no fun!

      Try adding some more defining details to her personality. What you've got so far is a trait which is incredibly common, and doesn't serve to tell us much about who the character is. Being shy around strangers is often somepony's first reaction! Think about who you want Midnight to be and try to set some personality traits before going back and touching up everything else -- an OC's personality is what really makes the character, not their backstory. Make sure you give everything plenty of details!

      I know this seems like a lot, but it's easiest to find everything when you break it all down separately. If you have any questions or new ideas you'd like to bounce around, feel free to send me or any of the other RP Staff a message!

    4. #4
      Senior Member
      I...I can't take it...I just
      want to be normal...
       
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      Midnight Sparkle's Avatar
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      Okay Twilight, I edited it, ya think it may work now?

    5. #5
      She's Cute Though, So It's Alright
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      Twilight Sparkle's Avatar
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      @Midnight Sparkle

      When you say she's shy, how shy are you thinking, or rather... how would we see this? Is it shy in the sense of simply being quiet (not outgoing, as you say she would be after knowing the pony), being afraid to talk, or perhaps as far as literally being afraid to even be in a stranger's presence?

      I hate to be a nitpick, because appearance in the relevance of the RP doesn't matter for much of anything, but ponies with stripes aren't canon. It doesn't look as if it adds anything to Midnight's character or personality, would it be okay to just remove that detail?

    6. #6
      Senior Member
      I...I can't take it...I just
      want to be normal...
       
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      Midnight Sparkle's Avatar
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      Fixed the stripe thing, and also the shyness thing.

    7. #7
      She's Cute Though, So It's Alright
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      Twilight Sparkle's Avatar
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      Works for me, accepted!

    8. #8
      Senior Member
      I...I can't take it...I just
      want to be normal...
       
      Crying
       
      Midnight Sparkle's Avatar
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      YAY

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