FiM is community funded, click here to help out!

Donate Today!

User Tag List

  • Aghast
  • Amused
  • Angry
  • Annoyed
  • Arrogant
  • Awesome
  • Bemused
  • Bored
  • Chaotic
  • Classy
  • Cocky
  • Confident
  • Confused
  • Cool
  • Crazy
  • Crying
  • Default
  • Delighted
  • Down
  • Drunk
  • Dumb
  • Embarrased
  • Emotionless
  • Enraged
  • Excited
  • Fabulous
  • Flirtatious
  • Friendly
  • Geeky
  • Godly
  • Guilty
  • Happy
  • Hateful
  • Heroic
  • Hungry
  • Innocent
  • Lonely
  • Meh
  • Mischievous
  • Piratey
  • Proud
  • Restful
  • Sad
  • Scared
  • Secret
  • Shocked
  • Shy
  • Sick
  • Silly
  • Smitten
  • Sneaky
  • Suggestive
  • Timid
  • Tired
  • Toxic
  • Uneasy
  • Wise
  • WTF
  • Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
    Results 1 to 10 of 13
    1. #1
      Senior Member
      I will not apologize for who I
      am. I will not apologize for
      what I need. I will not
      apologize for what I want.
       
      Annoyed
       
      Cecil B. DeMane's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2012
      Posts
      268
      Bits
      1,524
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      1,524

      Cecil B. DeMane.

      Thread Title: OC: Cecil B. DeMane


      -------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Name: Cecil B. DeMane

      Gender: Male

      Species: Unicorn

      Approximate age: 29

      Picture and/or Description:


      Background: Cecil B. DeMane was born to an unwed couple in Ponyville. His father was absent during most of his childhood, so the boy lived most of his early life without a father figure. He was not popular as a small child due to his awkward look and stature, how he lived, and overall, his eccentric demeanor. One day, after school, he saw a movie theater opening in his town. He went inside, and was blown away by what he saw. He immediately bought himself a movie camera, and started to make films with them. A production company gave him a deal at the age of 20 to produce 6 films. He made 6 soul-wrenching dramas to let his frustation out and to escape his troubles. He dropped out of college during his second year to go make movies. He made a string of hits, more critically than financially, and decided to move back to Ponyville.

      Personality: Cecil is a dramatic man. He is cunning, shrewd, and savvy. He does not like to be fucked with. But he is a lonely man, and is not very trustful of others, out of fear of being shunned. Without a father figure, he feels the need for constant contact with others. He has clinical depression, but when he's mad, he's really mad.

      Cutie Mark: Cecil's cutie mark is obviously a single reel of film. He got it at the age of 12, while filming his first picture. Cecil's talents are screenwriting, directing, and writing.

      Use: Both.
      Last edited by Cecil B. DeMane; 11-17-2012 at 09:16 PM.

    2. #2
      The Fabulous
      Excited
       
      Rarity#1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      Location
      Ponyville
      Posts
      1,947
      Bits
      38,394
      Awards Decommissioned with Honors - Fabulosity.LinguistTime LordElement of GenerosityThespian
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      38,394
      Hey there, @Cecil B. DeMane!

      To begin with, there are a few bits of the submission format that you've left out. You can find the submission form here: http://www.equestriaforever.com/show...ormat-Required

      I know you don't like to give a lengthy background in your OC submissions, but I have a few concerns about. To begin with, we should look at the issue of his parents. I don't have an issue with a one parent household, but I feel as though the way that you've phrased it here is somewhat troubling. It seems to either be a rape or one-night-stand scenario which are both things that we'd prefer to avoid. Otherwise, you've got a great outline for a background, but I'd love to see it filled in! How did he become obsessed with film? What kinds of films did he make? What was his rise and fall from fame like? Did he travel the world? Where did he go between leaving and returning to Ponyville? All of these could help make your character feel more fleshed out and realized.

      Feel free to PM me with any questions!

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    3. #3
      Senior Member
      I will not apologize for who I
      am. I will not apologize for
      what I need. I will not
      apologize for what I want.
       
      Annoyed
       
      Cecil B. DeMane's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2012
      Posts
      268
      Bits
      1,524
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      1,524
      Alright. I'll fix it tomorrow. I was in a kind of hurry.

    4. #4
      The Fabulous
      Excited
       
      Rarity#1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      Location
      Ponyville
      Posts
      1,947
      Bits
      38,394
      Awards Decommissioned with Honors - Fabulosity.LinguistTime LordElement of GenerosityThespian
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      38,394
      Hey there @Cecil B. DeMane,

      Unfortunately, there are still a few issues here. You expanded on the story of his conception, indicating that it was a one night stand, but that is specifically one of the situations that I wanted to avoid. The RP that we run here is, one could argue excessively, more oriented toward being neutral or upbeat. As the circumstances of his birth seem to only make his life harder for him and his mother, I would ask that it be changed. I'd still like to see more elaboration in the background section. We seemingly jump from his childhood to his young adulthood and then skims over his entire career thus far. It just seems like we don't really get to know his past at all. It's okay if he wants to keep his past a secret from other ponies in the RP, but we'd like to see it here regardless

      The personality section feels a bit thin as well. Could you give us some kind of an idea of how he interacts with other ponies (assuming he has to interact with another pony)? I feel a bit as though I have no idea how this character would behave other than seeking to avoid conversation at all costs.

      As for his cutie mark, we do ask that ponies' cutie marks be acquired by, at the very latest, 16. It is considered near abnormal for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to not have their cutie marks and they're generally seen as being prepubescent still. Perhaps his cutie mark appeared the first time he used a camera?

      Once again, feel free to PM me with any questions you might have!

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    5. #5
      Senior Member
      I will not apologize for who I
      am. I will not apologize for
      what I need. I will not
      apologize for what I want.
       
      Annoyed
       
      Cecil B. DeMane's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2012
      Posts
      268
      Bits
      1,524
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      1,524
      But, the whole "Missing Father" and "accidental" things are a huge part of the character in every iteration. Plus, it sort of gave the character a motivation to move back to the town: to find his father and confront him. But I will try to remove that. It will take a long time, because I actually had quite a lengthy scene pre-written for the confrontation, like literally, ten minutes of dialogue.. I'm sorry to have made things difficult.
      Last edited by Cecil B. DeMane; 11-11-2012 at 04:06 AM.

    6. #6
      The Fabulous
      Excited
       
      Rarity#1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      Location
      Ponyville
      Posts
      1,947
      Bits
      38,394
      Awards Decommissioned with Honors - Fabulosity.LinguistTime LordElement of GenerosityThespian
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      38,394
      Quote Originally Posted by Cecil B. DeMane View Post
      But, the whole "Missing Father" and "accidental" things are a huge part of the character in every iteration. Plus, it sort of gave the character a motivation to move back to the town: to find his father and confront him. But I will try to remove that. It will take a long time, because I actually had quite a lengthy scene pre-written for the confrontation, like literally, ten minutes of dialogue.. I'm sorry to have made things difficult.
      I apologize for the inconvenience, but we've decided that, for the purpose of trying to keep the RP in the spirit which we would like it to maintain, we don't really want to see characters coming from broken homes.

      And don't feel like you need to apologize! Our rules and guidelines are a lot different than other, similar sites', RP sections, and we recognize that. We'll be pretty difficult on OCs to make sure that they fit in our framework, but we're also here to help if you ever feel that you need it.

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    7. #7
      The Fabulous
      Excited
       
      Rarity#1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      Location
      Ponyville
      Posts
      1,947
      Bits
      38,394
      Awards Decommissioned with Honors - Fabulosity.LinguistTime LordElement of GenerosityThespian
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      38,394
      Heya @Cecil B. DeMane

      Unfortunately, this submission is still, in my mind, too overdramatic to be allowed into the RP. There seems to be nothing positive going on in his life. His father is still completely absent. Nopony liked him as a child. He doesn't like anypony as an adult. He got a contract to make 6 movies as a young adult but he got no joy out of it. The movies didn't even end up making him any real money. His entire life is painful and sad. He's lonely and doesn't trust anypony but desperately desires companionship that he won't seek out - so naturally he will always be upset. Even over and beyond that, he's clinically depressed and apparently also easy to anger?

      Our guidelines are strict, but they essentially boil down to one thing: would this character make sense in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Unfortunately, I can't see this iteration of Cecil fitting any better than the previous iterations.

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    8. #8
      Senior Member
      I will not apologize for who I
      am. I will not apologize for
      what I need. I will not
      apologize for what I want.
       
      Annoyed
       
      Cecil B. DeMane's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2012
      Posts
      268
      Bits
      1,524
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      1,524
      Well, I was intending for this iteration to be more...wizened because of his failures, and to make him stronger. Plus, I, for one see an issue with an RP world where everything is sunshine and daisies. A little seriousness never hurt anyone, did it? And plus, I don't recall saying he was quick to anger, just...when he get's mad, he's really mad. Plus, this is only how the character would start out. Unlike last time, where the character got negative reception for no reason, I hope this iteration gets positive reception, thus gradually changing his personality to something brighter. I've already had to get rid of the main reason he even came to the town, ten minutes of dialogue, and one of the pillars of who he is. I want you to think this over.
      I really do have love to give...I just don't know where to put it.

    9. #9
      Dreaming Of The Sea
      Out here only the strong
      survive.
       
      Mischievous
       
      Eris's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      Location
      [screaming]
      Posts
      433
      Bits
      8,591
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      8,591
      Quote Originally Posted by Cecil B. DeMane View Post
      Well, I was intending for this iteration to be more...wizened because of his failures, and to make him stronger. Plus, I, for one see an issue with an RP world where everything is sunshine and daisies. A little seriousness never hurt anyone, did it? And plus, I don't recall saying he was quick to anger, just...when he get's mad, he's really mad. Plus, this is only how the character would start out. Unlike last time, where the character got negative reception for no reason, I hope this iteration gets positive reception, thus gradually changing his personality to something brighter. I've already had to get rid of the main reason he even came to the town, ten minutes of dialogue, and one of the pillars of who he is. I want you to think this over.
      All that the mods, and quite probably most of the Roleplayers - myself included - want is as little drama in the RP as possible. The reason Rarity is having you do all these edits is so that there is no chance of drama, and let's face it, Cecil, nobody is going to want to RP with you if your character looks like a timebomb of drama that could go off at any given moment. Just lighten it up a bit, make a character start off with just a little bit of happiness for once. It's not too hard.

    10. #10
      Senior Member
      I will not apologize for who I
      am. I will not apologize for
      what I need. I will not
      apologize for what I want.
       
      Annoyed
       
      Cecil B. DeMane's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2012
      Posts
      268
      Bits
      1,524
      User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
      Bits
      1,524
      Berry...are you an RP mod? No. This is between me and this mod. So please leave this conversation.
      I really do have love to give...I just don't know where to put it.

    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •