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  • Results 1 to 4 of 4

    Thread: OC: Mage

    1. #1
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      OC: Mage

      Name: Mage

      Gender: female

      Species: unicorn

      Approximate age: (In human years): 15

      Picture and/or Description: http://s1282.beta.photobucket.com/us...tml?sort=3&o=0
      Her daytime appearance, quite simble, with pure white hair, layered black mane/tail, and grey eyes. She wouldn't stand out in a crowd at all, if it were not for her horn, which is longer than most, ebony black with a glowing pink spiral around it.
      http://s1282.beta.photobucket.com/us...tml?sort=3&o=1
      In contrast, at night, Mage is very unique, and very different looking. Her hair turns from pure white to the blackest black. Her mane and tail turn white and pink, glowing. Her eyes also change from normal grey to a luminecant pink- literally. They glow like her mane, too. The only thing that seems unchanged is her horn, which is still the same, aside from the glowing of the spiral being more noticable in the darkness.


      Background: Mage was born special, with an already partly formed cutie mark. This is because the circumstances of her birth were unique.
      Mage was born to two unicorns, durningan eclipse- her mother a powerful light unicorn, and her father a powerful dark unicorn, both nomads in the Evergreen Forest. Mage was different, having a longer horn than most unicorns her age, with a glowing pink spiral around it. Also, she had a cutie mark of an eclipse. It was soon realised that she had a strong talent in magic, hence how she got her name.
      She was raised in the Evergreen forest, learning how to do magic and how to surviveinthe wilderness. Her home was a small house, carved in the side of a cliff, the exit widing and twisting till it reached the surface near a river.
      Everything was pretty avarage, though Mage loved to go exploring. She even once saw Ponyville from a distance, though never entered, too young and scared to do so.
      One day, when she was thirteen(human years), after getting back from one of her explorations, she found a horrific sight- near the river, trees were charred black, the ground piled with ash. Her now dead parents lay in the middle of it all. A dragon's retreating roar sounded in the distance.
      Since then, she had lived alone. It is now a month past her fifteenth birthday, and Mage feels like she no longer wants to be a nomad, alone, like her parents had been. She wants to meet others. So she has decided to travel to Ponyville, the town she had only seenfrom a distance so long ago.

      Personality: Mage is eager to make friends, to be a part of a group. Trouble is, she doesn't know how to, being stuck as a nomad with only parents for comapny most of her life. She also is a 'take action' pony, though in dangerous situations she is not all that brave.

      Cutie Mark: (Be sure to include a story of how the character got their cutie mark, what it means, and how they use it!) Mage has a cutie mark of an eclipsed moon, sparkles of different colors around it. Special about it was that her moon cutie mark was gotten when she was born, because she was already unique, being born on the eclipse and all. As her magical powers started to develop, the sparkles appeared, each color for a different type of magic. Her cutie mark is still changing, more and more soarkles being added as she gets more experienced. So far she only has a dark blue sparkle and a white sparkle- symbolic for knowing the basics of both light and dark magic.

      Use: (Specify forum RP, shoutbox RP, or both) both

      Other: (Optional section, add anything else you feel important!) Mage hates dragons. And fire. Both remind her of her parents. Because of that, she is most talented in magic when dealing with water, having practiced more in that area.

    2. #2
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      Hey there @Mage

      Unfortunately, there are a few things about your character that don't really fit with what we envision for RP on the site. What we look for in an OC is simply this: "Would this character fit into Ponyville?" That isn't to say that we don't have our share of ponies who would be more in the margins, but we do believe that every OC we accept should be able to fit in to the show without seeming out of place.

      In regards to specifics...

      Appearance: There aren't any unicorns in the show who have a horn differently colored than the rest of their body (barring a major villain, but even still, it was a gradient). There aren't any unicorns who have a spiral which is a different color than their body's outline and none of them glow when not in use. There also aren't any ponies who change appearance based on day/night cycles (including the ones who would most obviously do so: Luna and Celestia).

      Background: I wonder what you mean by "light" and "dark" unicorns. Could you clarify this further in a possible future edition? Is the Evergreen Forest different from the Everfree Forest (just checking )? In the rules, we note that we don't like to see dead parents. In the past, we have noticed that such a background usually is just used by the pony to attract attention to themselves and tends to put a lot of RPers off. Violent deaths in particular also don't really fit the setting of Equestria, so we tend to shy away from them.

      Cutie Mark: I am hesitant to allow any OC who is born with a (partial or full) cutie mark regardless of the circumstances of their birth. Gaining a cutie mark is generally meant to represent personal growth and increased understanding of oneself, the entire experience seems somewhat cheapened if they are born with part of their mark. In a more critical way, it simply seems like an attempt to make the character unique without actually adding anything unique to them. You seem to try to address this by making her cutie mark grow over time, but this is contrary to our understanding of what a cutie mark is. To us, a cutie mark is something which is defined in a single moment and does not change over time.

      I understand that this is a lot in terms of critique, but we have a tendency to stick very close to what we understand as the show's canon. If you have any questions or feel like you want any guidance, feel free to pm me.
      Thanks Stix thanked for this post
       

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

    3. #3
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      It's ok, I totally understand. This is my first pony OC, so I wasn't exactly sure how to go about making her. But thank you so much for telling me what was wrong- you learn from your mistakes, afterall. :3
      But anyways, I will post a new application for a different pony. I now understand that my character was too flashy, and I will try something more realistic.
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    4. #4
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mage View Post
      It's ok, I totally understand. This is my first pony OC, so I wasn't exactly sure how to go about making her. But thank you so much for telling me what was wrong- you learn from your mistakes, afterall. :3
      But anyways, I will post a new application for a different pony. I now understand that my character was too flashy, and I will try something more realistic.
      Thank you, I appreciate you being understanding of our particular set of RP standards. If you have any ideas that you'd like me to look at or if you feel that you'd like any advice in creating a new OC, feel free to just send me (or Twilight Sparkle or Applejack) a PM and we'll try to help you out!

      Thanks to Twilight for this sig!

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