Ok first of all, no panic it's not a rant about this site for once. I'm just having a sort of hard time right now. Let me give you some music to set the mood along with a spiritual text. Seriously if you read the text out loud while listening to it then it's scary/sad as hell. (I strongly suggest putting this on a loop
)
Sweetly, sweetly, fall asleep completely. Mourning, mourning, sleep until the mourning, not another day will pass without you. (Safe and sound you're safe and sound, under the ground, ah) Not another eulogy about you. Now...be gone close your eyelids... softly, softly, rest your weary body. Silent, silent, desolate and quiet, now your troubles melt away beside you. (Please just save me, someone save me, please I'm begging) Now your feelings rot away inside you, free your soul...give up...
Lately I've been having doubts about pretty much everything. What's the point of life, why do i force myself through this, etc. It just seems so pointless, you go to school for 25 years to work 40 years. And why do you work those 40 years? So that when you stop working you can have a simple life. Why not just skip those years and just end it all? Another question, why do we have to be happy? Just why? If you're not happy 24/7 then people will just ignore you after a while and consider you a downie. Why do we have to lie against our friends or family about being happy?
I'm sorry, I try to be as happy as I can around you guys but it's kinda getting to me.
There are just people I miss so much but I know they aren't in this world anymore and everything I do reminds me of them.