OC: Star Spot

[Starspot]

Name: Star Spot

Gender: Male

Species: Earth Pony

Approximate age: 19

Picture and/or description: He has a blue coat with grey mane and tail.

Background: Star Spot is a pony from ponyvile who had always been fascinated by the stars and sky that constantly watch over him. One night as he gazed up at the moon and stars, he saw a shadow being cast on the moon, that looked like a mare. He researched the strange sighting and found an old pony tale called "The Mare In the Moon". This story told how Princess Celestia, trapped her sister in the moon, be cause she refused to lower it for the sun. He read up on celestial boddies and learned all about them. He learned how to tell the difference between a planet and a moon, and even how to navigate using the stars alignment. Ever since, Star Spot has been fascinated with the Mare in the moon.


Personality: Well educated and hyper. Struggles to contain excitment. Lives in everfree forest. Enjoys to be alone at night to star gaze.

Cutie mark: planet with ring around it, surrounded by 3 stars. Star Spot got his cutie mark when he and his father were lost on a camping trip. He read the stars wich pointed them back to their camp site. He now uses his talent to moniter the skys and tell weather patterns.

[Starspot]

His*

[Twilight Sparkle]

Good evening!

I think you're off to a good start on developing your OC here, but you're going to want to add some more detail. How did he learn to navigate by the celestial bodies, and what was it about them that first sparked his interest?

What exactly is his special talent; the one that allows him to monitor the skies? If he was studying weather patterns, keep in mind those things would only exist in "unnatural" places like the Everfree Forest, as pegasi control the weather manually in civilized parts of Equestria. Keep in mind the generally-positive nature of Equestria as well, things like a pony's loss of speaking ability seem out-of-place; and, regardless, how would this cause him to develop a stutter?

To edit your post, simply click the "Edit Post" button on the bottom-right side of any post. You can edit the OP of this thread with your updates, then post that you have updated, and I'll take another look!

[Starspot]

Awesome! I appreciate the feed back, and knew that I didn't have enough, but its a start.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Thank you for updating.

How did Star Spot come to the conclusion "The Mare in the Moon" was Princess Luna, and how did he come to know it was Celestia whom trapped her there? Keep in mind that this information was not publicly known until after Luna's return in the second episode of the show; Twilight had to conclude on her own that Nightmare Moon/Princess Luna was "The Mare in the Moon" and nopony knew that Nightmare Moon was Celestia's sister until after Luna was "saved" and Celestia said so.

I'm still not sure how his talent correlates with studying weather patterns, or what you truly intend for his talent to be. It seems from the submission that it is the ability to navigate celestially, but you explain otherwise near the end.

Ponies don't typically live in the Everfree, and we've seen that the ones in Ponyville tend to be generally afraid of the place. If you feel that Star Spot needs to live there, how come? What caused him to "disbelieve society" and not behold the Everfree with fear? Does he go back to Ponyville regularly? Ponies in the RP are not forbidden from going to the Everfree, but they don't typically venture there unless they're exploring. You'd just want to make sure he was in town frequently, or you'd have nopony to RP with!

[Starspot]

Obviously I'm not very good at this. Lol. I'm not going to repost this till its perfect. Thanks for the help.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Obviously I'm not very good at this. Lol. I'm not going to repost this till its perfect. Thanks for the help.

It's a hard process sometimes, because there's just so much to think about!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me a PM.