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  • Results 1 to 4 of 4

    Thread: Ardor Blaze

    1. #1
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      Ardor Blaze

      Name: Ardor Blaze (temporary)

      Gender: Male

      Species: Unicorn

      Approximate age: (In human years) 19

      Picture and/or Description: blackish-gray coat. black name with patches of red. simple medallion always around neck.

      Background: Born in a distant town Ardor was born into a simple farming family. always finding himself interested with the lamp posts in the town that were lighted every evening he was drawn to the fire and the light. one evening he was made fun of by several of the neighborhood colts he became unnaturally angry and as he grew angrier the lights burned brighter and hotter. when one of the colts(no one was able to find the records from the mess) struck him in the face, he snapped and then all the lamps in the town exploded setting the town on fire. barely escaping he ran until he couldn't run anymore. returning to the town, all the buildings were burned down and none of the towns people survived. distraught at what happened he didn't see the cutey mark of a flame spark appear on his flank. all he had from his family was the medallion he wore around his neck that his mother gave him. Being unable to control his talent he left the town and became a nomad passing through towns not talking to people or socializing from fear of losing control again.

      Personality: very withdrawn from society and having a dark or pessimistic outlook on others from the children who bullied him. although people find him unsocialable or not good to be around, he finds much enjoyment from animals and small creatures. always very gentle with them, the animals are alway comforted by his presence. (Ex: on one of his travels during a very cold winter he came upon a small family of rabbits in their den that were very cold trying to keep warm. Feeling bad that they were suffering he stayed curled around them keeping them warm with the warm heat from his body.)


      Cutie Mark: pyrotechnics, being that his talent is wielding fire the cutie mark is of a flame spark. he is still "learning" how to control his talent, having discovered it in the accident that destroyed his home.

      Use: both.

      Other: Character is still being made and this thread is more for constructive criticism.

      descriptio: Mane* not name

    2. #2
      Baron
      Battleborn beta is pretty
      sweet.
       
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      Pwny Express's Avatar
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      I'm not RP mod, but I can assure you the burning down a whole town and leaving no survivors part isn't going to be accepted. Way too dark and strays from the typical peacefulness of FiM canon, even if the act was unintentional. Grimdark stuff is acceptable in certain parts of the RP section (Lunar Colosseum, or whatever it's called), but for general use and your character submission that part is going to need to be reworked.
      Spoiler: Pony Personality Test Results 

    3. #3
      The Great and Powerful
      The Great and Apologetic
      Trixie is the most magnificent
      and humble pony you've ever
      seen.
       
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      Muffet's Avatar
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      The Great and Powerful Reviewer, Trixie, here to... review!

      The very first thing is that this is very dark for MLP. Our RP here is focused on being close to canon, and extreme cases of violence are pretty much non-existent in the MLP universe. Equestria is mostly a happy, peaceful place. Make sure you take a few moments to look over the General RP Rules so that you know what it is we're looking for here.

      Another thing to remember if you wish you re-do things to try to RP with us (which I do hope to see, it's a lot of fun ) is that RP is interaction-based. An anti-social character like this is fine for fanfictions and all, but in RP you are required to talk to others. That's how the story progresses and how things happen!

      PM me or add me on Skype (found on my profile) if you have any questions, and I'll check back with you soon.

    4. #4
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      Thank you for the criticism. I understand this can only be more of a fanfiction character, but i wanted to share it nevertheless. Thank you again

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