Drawing The Line

[Nightseeker]

Before you begin reading this, I reccomend you listen to this, it fit's the read perfectly:



Why the fuck is it always me when shit goes wrong? EVERY fucking time I think something will go right, it takes a dive-bomb into a pile of shit EVERY TIME. I'm always the target of things, and I'm fucking TIRED OF THE BULLSHIT. I'm widely ignored when I try to tell somebody something, I had a plan set up to get something here on this site, and it fucked up, because it seems there was a LIST for what I wanted, after explicitly saying I wanted it, MONTHS ago, apparently NOBODY knew I wanted it, so I wasn't on the list, even though there's deadpan proof I said I wanted said item. Then I had plans to get a Princess Luna plushie, that fucking failed too, because it's been three/four months since I asked for it. (I didn't actually ask, somebody else did for me, but you get the picture.) Why I try to tell somebody here at school that somebody stole something from me, they responded with "Oh, it's not worth it."

I know it's not worth it, but when EVERYTHING GOES WRONG, I need to draw the line, and THIS is where it begins. It's gotten so bad, in my 6th mod Biology class, I broke down and cried, in the middle of class. I just put my coat down to dry my eyes, and I bawled. Lucky nobody could see me, but it still shows how much I'm holding it in, and the tears still threaten to begin pouring down again. I'm close to snapping, and when I do, I'm worried for whoever's next to me. I need something to break, because words don't cut it anymore. I'm tired of it being me, why is it not somebody else? There are other people like me, who seem to be the worlds target, but why are none of them near me? Why am I the only one? Thinking upon this, I wrote a little short little thing in class called 'I Know Why The Lone Wolf Howls'. (I'm sure somebody else made one of these) Here's what I wrote: "He howls because he has been betrayed by those close to him. He howls for those who have left him, for those who have abandoned him. He howls because nobody cares, and he must fend for himself. He howls, because he is alone. Just like me."

Nice little short story/poem/thing, right? It's exactly how I feel, like nobody cares. The only consolation I have is the love of my life, but even then I have 2&1/2 more years to wait for that. I just don't know how much more I can take before I finally snap, I'm not so sure if I haven't already. I'd also like to note this, along with loads of other crap has happened this month, most of it within this week, so overall, this is easily the worst week, and month of my life, an I only expect more to come.

So, with this, I draw the line. No more am I the worlds punching bag, no more will I always be the pice that's always pushed off onto the side, I plan on going down fighting, calling out those who deserve it. This is where I end the pushing around, so next time you talk to me, I may not be so nice.

"The phrase 'It's better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.' is backwards, it's better to live on you feet than to die on your knees."

[Wiran]

I'm widely ignored when I try to tell somebody something, I had a plan set up to get something here on this site, and it fucked up, because it seems there was a LIST for what I wanted, after explicitly saying I wanted it, MONTHS ago, apparently NOBODY knew I wanted it, so I wasn't on the list, even though there's deadpan proof I said I wanted said item.

Plan set up to get something here ? Care to tell me about it ? :o

[Wandergirl108]

Thank you - I'm glad I'm SOME consolation - but I wish there was more I could do…It breaks my heart to see you going through this, and I really wish I could just take you away from it all.

At any rate, you're right to draw the line here - if you were reduced to breaking down into tears in class, it's definitely time to change something; and I'm so sorry no one in class with you - or the teacher, for that matter - thought to care. Life isn't fair - in fact, life can be utterly cruel - but that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. Just…please try not to do anything you'll regret later.

Also, since your parents won't say it: I'm proud of you, Robert. After reading all your rants about what you're going through, the fact that you haven't hurt anyone or broken anything yet is truly admirable. You're a very strong person, and you should be proud of yourself for that. Everyone has their breaking point, and you're about there, but the you've lasted this long, and I cannot express how much I respect you for that. I hope you find an outlet that won't get you in more trouble.

Also, I WILL get you a Luna plushie, no matter what it takes - even if I have to ask around and jump between fifteen different plushie makers, I WILL get you that plushie. I promise.

Stay strong. "Even though it hurts like hell, we have to bleed; even when we fight for air, we keep on breathing; even if you've lost yourself, you still have me."

[Bon Bon]

I'm going to be the first and potentially only person to say this, but if these are all the problems you have to worry about you should get your priorities straight and not act like a child. As terrible as it may sound, I hope there are other things than what you mentioned that are bothering you, because otherwise you have a pretty disappointing fortitude. You almost broke down in class about a username and a plushie?

Sorry if I sound like a dick for not coddling you and agreeing with you how terrible your life is and that things aren't fair and telling you how everything will get better, but there are so many kids your age who complain about how everything bad always happens to them, and all their plans turn out wrong that I think most everyone's patience is wearing thin.

As far as waiting 2 1/2 years for your girl, I do sympathize with you there. I know how hard that is, and while I think you might be a fool for sticking it out, I house some respect for it. Not like there's a choice, right? Still, getting pissed off at every little inconsequential thing will not help that at all. It will only make the waiting worse.

In closing, YES stop being a punching bag! But don't be so emotional over things. Anyone in this world who would agree that not being called Luna on a pony forum is worth crying over is either lying, stupid, or somehow deranged. And while I'm sure there are tons of other things bothering you, you should find someone who's not going to just cry with you over how terrible things are, instead of receiving so much feigned sympathy then going rambo in a life and rants thread like this. What you need to do is realize that you're the only one who can make your life better, try to focus on the big things instead of the tiny baby things like forum names and plushies, and most of all, MAN UP!

[~Ika Musume~]

Dude, you're in high school. High schools have counselors trained to help you deal with this kind of stuff.

Go talk to one and just tell them exactly what you told us. If you don't want anyone to know then ask to sign a confidentiality agreement and they won't tell a soul or they'll get fired.

[Kamina!]

If you want to stop being a punching bag, quit playing the victim at everything and making yourself an easy target to shoot at.

[Snowy Gilda]

If you want to stop being a punching bag, quit playing the victim at everything and making yourself an easy target to shoot at.

inb4hate

Anyways, I agree with Bon.
Man up.
You have a house, family, friends, money, you live in a 1st world country, everything.
Everything could've been way worse.
Using the past/present as an excuse for bad behavior is just dumb and will get you in more trouble later.

But hey, that's like my opinion and stuff.

[Wandergirl108]

I'm going to be the first and potentially only person to say this, but if these are all the problems you have to worry about you should get your priorities straight and not act like a child. As terrible as it may sound, I hope there are other things than what you mentioned that are bothering you, because otherwise you have a pretty disappointing fortitude. You almost broke down in class about a username and a plushie?

Sorry if I sound like a dick for not coddling you and agreeing with you how terrible your life is and that things aren't fair and telling you how everything will get better, but there are so many kids your age who complain about how everything bad always happens to them, and all their plans turn out wrong that I think most everyone's patience is wearing thin.

As far as waiting 2 1/2 years for your girl, I do sympathize with you there. I know how hard that is, and while I think you might be a fool for sticking it out, I house some respect for it. Not like there's a choice, right? Still, getting pissed off at every little inconsequential thing will not help that at all. It will only make the waiting worse.

In closing, YES stop being a punching bag! But don't be so emotional over things. Anyone in this world who would agree that not being called Luna on a pony forum is worth crying over is either lying, stupid, or somehow deranged. And while I'm sure there are tons of other things bothering you, you should find someone who's not going to just cry with you over how terrible things are, instead of receiving so much feigned sympathy then going rambo in a life and rants thread like this. What you need to do is realize that you're the only one who can make your life better, try to focus on the big things instead of the tiny baby things like forum names and plushies, and most of all, MAN UP!

One, where did you get the impression that the forum name and the plushie were the main issues here? The way *I* understand it, it's the way he's being treated at home and at school that are the main problems, and things like the name and the plushie are just additional problems that are fouling up the place he goes to escape. When you're dealing with a lot of stress and trying to hold everything in, smaller problems get amplified into big deals - I've been there. I also get the impression that it's not about the actual name itself, or the plushie itself, it's about how unfair both issues have or will turn out - again, only adding on to all the crap he's going through IRL. It almost seems like you didn't read the whole post. Or maybe I'm mixing things up and it was in a previous rant that he made that clear (I can't bear to read it again, so I'm not sure). Either way, YES he's going through a lot more than just not getting a username and a plushie!

Two, I take personal offense to the fact that you're calling him a fool for sticking out the wait, even though you CLAIM to be able to sympathize. I don't know what exactly your opinion of me is, but saying things like that - implying that I'm not worth the wait - is more than a little hurtful.

Three, I had it much easier than him when I was young, but I always took out my feelings on everyone around me. He's a much stronger person than I'll ever be, and by no means is he a baby.

Four, isn't the POINT of the Life and Rants section to vent about things in your life that are making you angry or upset?

And five, does it not occur to you that part of the reason he feels like no one cares about him is because people here - like you - make it very clear that they don't?

Just because you're a mod doesn't give you the right to be a dick, and I know from personal experience that saying things like "you're making a big deal over nothing" and "man up" is the OPPOSITE of helpful.

[Captain Shekelstein]

OP is just the typical teen.

[Nightseeker]

I'm going to be the first and potentially only person to say this, but if these are all the problems you have to worry about you should get your priorities straight and not act like a child. As terrible as it may sound, I hope there are other things than what you mentioned that are bothering you, because otherwise you have a pretty disappointing fortitude. You almost broke down in class about a username and a plushie?

Sorry if I sound like a dick for not coddling you and agreeing with you how terrible your life is and that things aren't fair and telling you how everything will get better, but there are so many kids your age who complain about how everything bad always happens to them, and all their plans turn out wrong that I think most everyone's patience is wearing thin.

As far as waiting 2 1/2 years for your girl, I do sympathize with you there. I know how hard that is, and while I think you might be a fool for sticking it out, I house some respect for it. Not like there's a choice, right? Still, getting pissed off at every little inconsequential thing will not help that at all. It will only make the waiting worse.

In closing, YES stop being a punching bag! But don't be so emotional over things. Anyone in this world who would agree that not being called Luna on a pony forum is worth crying over is either lying, stupid, or somehow deranged. And while I'm sure there are tons of other things bothering you, you should find someone who's not going to just cry with you over how terrible things are, instead of receiving so much feigned sympathy then going rambo in a life and rants thread like this. What you need to do is realize that you're the only one who can make your life better, try to focus on the big things instead of the tiny baby things like forum names and plushies, and most of all, MAN UP!

I literally said everything you already said, and I already said that there was many more problems with my life than what was listed. You wanna know the some more on the list? My father is currently in god-knows where with my little brother who he took from us after we got attached to him, and I got news that he was abusing the kid, not to mention my father is a druggie. My parents also refuse to tell me anything about it, so all of this I've heard by over-hearing them. My great grandmother had recently had surgery, so she's not living with us like she usually is, and she may not come back and live with us at all again. Then there's my grades that have been steadily dropping because I can't GET any help from a counselor @Snowdrop. The teachers here are pretty much useless, minus a select few. Not to mention the career choice I had in mind, which is the only thing I'm good at, has no openings, and the last one went to somebody else who didn't even apply like I did. No other schools in this state teach that class, and because my teachers here are so useless, and my school is so low-budget, I can't get the equipment to learn my selected study, and nobody here is qualified to teach it.

@Gilda: I don't have family, or at the very least I have very little of it. As previously stated my father is somewhere, and I never see my mom, and my great-grandmother is not going to be living with us any more.

While I understand that "cuddling up" isn't the best of ideas, I hate it myself, the least you could do is not be a dick about it, and not repeat the same thing I said. These things have been building over the years, it's not about something so tiny as those things, it's about all that's happened. Picking one or two of those things and calling me a wimp on it isn't exactly the best way to call somebody out on, look at the bigger picture.

OP is just the typical teen.

I wish that was true.