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  • Results 1 to 6 of 6

    Thread: Amlenzo

    1. #1
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      Anonagon's Avatar
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      Amlenzo

      Name: Amlenzo

      Gender: Male

      Species: Earth pony

      Approximate age: 15

      Picture and/or Description: (im so ashamed for resorting to pony creator…)

      Background: Amlenzo was born in Manehattan. His family lived in downtown Manehattan,. They all had normal lives until Aerizio and Amlenzo played a prankk on the owner, Mr. Mancini, and hid loads of meat from a local restaurant. The owner, Mr. Mancini, didn't really like the brothers’ father. After the twins refused to tell him where the meat was, the whole lower Manehatten wanted the family gone, since everyone loved and went to Mancini’s restaurant. The family was driven out of Manehatten, so they moved to Ponyville when the brothers were 8, and lived there ever since. He coped well with the new place, and got used to it very quickly. Amlenzo isn’t well known around town, since he rarely goes in the more populated places in the city. He also loves to read books. He is also smarter than his brother. An example of him outsmarting Aerizio is when Aerizio told Amlenzo that he wanted to practice magic like a unicorn. Amlenzo then told him that only unicorns can do magic.

      Personality: The smarter of the twins, (Aerizio, Anoos’s OC), Amlenzo corrects Aerizio and sometimes other people. He has a more serious attitude than his brother, but still is very friendly. He can be quite formal at times, such as at a restaurant, or at school. He does have a bad side though. He hates it when other ponies act immature around him. He’s actually gotten into a fight with Aerizio for acting extremely childish. He is the nicer one, due to his parents paying more attention to him, and while this was happening, Aerizio was being immature in his ways of getting attention, which drove Amlenzo to the hatred of immaturity.

      Cutie Mark: A red book. The cutie mark represents his talent to write excellent stories and read almost anything. He got this talent when writing a report about magic in school in Manehattan. His teacher, Mr Hooflesworth, liked it so much that he said it's the best essay on magic he's ever read. At just that moment, he got his cutie mark.

      Use: shoutbox
      Last edited by Anonagon; 08-19-2012 at 03:13 PM.
      Likes moistbutt liked this post
       

    2. #2
      She's Cute Though, So It's Alright
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      You've got a good start, but we need to see some more detail! Tell us about his life in Manehattan, what brought him to Ponyville, and what their life was like there. Give us some insight into his family, and show us some examples of him being smarter than his brother! Please make some stories up that separate the two characters, as it is now it seems like basically a copypasta.

      Also, expand your personality with some more defining traits, please. Keep in mind his age as well, 15 is nearing quite old to have no cutie mark... the CMC are around 8-10 years old, and most ponies their age have one already.

    3. #3
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      edited

    4. #4
      She's Cute Though, So It's Alright
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      Sorry, but stealing, grudges and hatred... not exactly things that happen in Equestria, I must say.
      Try to keep in mind that RP is show-canon... if you couldn't see it in the show, it probably can't happen here.

      Also, you'll need to add a story telling us about when he earned his cutie mark, like the Mane 6 tell us in the show!

    5. #5
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      edited the story to make it nicer

    6. #6
      She's Cute Though, So It's Alright
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      I think this looks fine, accepting!

      Welcome to the RP.

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