OC: Gastron (somewhat redone OC)

[Certainly Syrix]

Name: Gastron

Gender: Male

Species: Unicorn

Approximate Age: 39

Picture and/or Description: Gastron's mane is black with streaks of silver. His fur is light grey and his eyes are colored green.

His overall build is lanky with large hooves and a round head. Gastron's mane is often greasy, thick and bedraggled. He doesn't pay much attention to his tail either. Gastron likes to wear a brown cloth cloak along with a grimy, old top hat. His goggles reside on wrapped around his hat when they're not in use.

Background: Gastron was born into a lower middle class family in northern Trottingham. He had one brother, who went onto become a member of the Royal Guard. His father was a glass smith and his mother was a newspaper columnist. He never had a close relationship with his family.

Gastron did well in school. He found himself attuned to Alchemy and Chemistry. He liked making all sorts of brews, from drinks to practical medicine. His chemistry experience allows him to make simple fireworks, too.

He got his cutie mark during school when a potion expected to do no more than get rid of a simple cough on a terminally ill turkey actually saved its life.

Gastron never made any friends. He was never picked on or bullied, he just was a tad... Insensitive. He was blunt. Disrespectful. His social life suffered because of this, well through his adolence and into adulthood.

When Gastron was old enough to be out on his own, he left Trottingham to settle down in the much quieter town of Ponyville as an artisan of his craft.

He does, actually, have one friend. A young mare named Aetheric Gleam serves as his assistant and pupil. She just moved in with him on her eighteenth birthday.

Personality: Short version: He's a male, pony counterpart of Jesse from Dave's Fallout 3 let's play. Long Version: As mentioned earlier, he doesn't do well with other ponies, generally speaking. He feels like he's more intellectual than most, but should the opportunity to partake in sophisticated banter present itself, he most assuredly will take it. Gastron doesn't enjoy explaining himself to ponies who don't understand his work. He's also not very optimistic, but he likes to challenge himself whenever he can.

He also has an unusual obsession with Celestia.

As in, a crush. Yeah...

Yeah.

Cutie Mark: His cutie mark is a glass flask with small, popping bubbles coming out of a red liquid. He didn't have anyone to introduce him to his talent, it was just something he decided to start on his own. He wanted to be a difference maker, someone who can revolutionize everyday living. This dream never came into fruition, however.

Use: Any RP I feel appropriate for him to be in. I haven't browsed any of the forum RPs as of yet.

Other: I only changed what his biggest problem was, and added some things to give him more depth.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Hey there! Sorry about the wait, had a bit of a mix-up as to who would be covering this one.

The big elephant in the room here is his skill in creating potions. While this is not something inherently bad (seeing as Zecora does it, it's clearly logical that others may as well), it does tend to be overused as a be-all, end-all solution. Again, this isn't always bad, though it is certainly something you would want to consider either establishing limits on or avoiding doing on a frequent basis. Regardless, ability-enhancing potions take this field further than we feel is both possible for Equestria and fair to others. Making a potion to reduce age falls in a similar boat. It doesn't matter how rare something is (because realistically, anything can be rare in the correct context), it just shouldn't happen.

Other than that, I think this is looking pretty good. What do you mean when you mention loyalty to Celestia's cause? What do you feel is Celestia's cause? You should try writing the cutie mark story in a narrative form, much like the Mane Six have been shown to tell theirs in the show. This helps you both exemplify character personality traits and get a feel for writing in the mindset of the character.

Let me know if you have any questions. Edit back!

[Certainly Syrix]

Do you get notifications when people edit their posts? Because sending a PM on a phone can be time consuming and tedious.

If you do, you can just go ahead and remove this post, I guess.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Fair enough, accepted.

[Certainly Syrix]

Fair enough, accepted.