OC Acid Blast

[Crankie Doodle Pie]

Name: Acid Blast

Gender: Mare

Species: Pegasus

Age: 24

Pitcure and/or Description
ponyWithBackground.jpg

Backround: Acid Blast was Born into a rich family in Cloudsdale. Her mother decided to give him that name because she won an art contest, she wanted to draw a rain under a mountain but sadly she got the wrong paint(green) so she cant make the drops blue anyway she tried something new and make the rain drops green unexpectly the jury liked it and got a ticket for Galloping Gala. Acid Blast met many creatures and started to be friends with animals when she was a filly. There was alot of bullies in her school, they made fun of she because of her mane but she always defended herself so she never gave up but there was another thing she was a blank flank! it was an another bad thing. But she dont care. She was always an positive pony and never make fun of anypony.
She was too friendly to others.

She has a good relationship with everypony like Pinkie Pie and loves to defend everypony and help anypony. Acid Blast is graduated from school. She leaved Cloudsdale and came to Ponyville and started to work in Sugar Cube Corner. But she is fired because she failed to make cupcakes, muffins and cakes. She was met many Ponies in Ponyville and gained many best friends. She went to Canterlot and met A Wonderbolt there, she asked him for a job. She was lucky and started to work in Post Office. She think its the best for she because She is faster than many pegasi. After that she made enough money and started to cloud cleaning job. She also Traveled whole Equestria and made alot of friends also likes to compete with others but she work in team, she dont cheat and dont make fun of others if they lose.

Personality: Friendly, Positive, Kind , Smart and Social

Cutie Mark: Her Cutie Mark means Speed and she gained whe she learned that she loves nature, green means: fertility, nature so she also very good at cloud cleaning. Also rain hits ground very hard and that explains the speed of she. Everyone thinked that she is evil because of the black mane and shape of the mane, but when other ponies learned her personality, everyone started to talk with she. She dont like to make fun of others but... when bullies mess with she, her makes their mouth open and shows how ignorant they are.

Use: Forum and Shout Box

Other: Her dad and Her mother was an Pegasus her mother lived in Cloudsdale and her dad lived in Canterlot. They both move to Cloudsdale when her mother was pregnant to Acid Blast.

[Lyssea]

@Crankie Doodle Pie

Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately there are a few issues that needs to be dealt with.

You make repeated references to acidic rain in this character. In reality this type of rain is often the result of heavy polution in the atmosphere and can be quite deadly to plants and other living things. We find it quite hard to believe that Equestria would have this type of rain, much less actively use it in their weather. We must ask you to remove this.

Furthermore we must also ask you to remove all mentions of relationship with canon characters. The reason is simply that by letting you set up a relationship to another pony, they would be forced to have it whether or not they themselves agree. For example, you set up that she lives with Ditzy. If we have or get a player for Ditzy they might not at all be interested in living with your character, and forcing them to do so would be quite rude.

If you have any questions or other comments in regards to your character feel free to contact me and I would be delighted to help you to the best of my abilities.

[Crankie Doodle Pie]

I Chanced the Acid Rain ones not really removed but chanced to a different so plants will be saved, also removed all refferences about RD.

(PS: Ditzy is a fan based character later added to series and appears on backround and talk 1 times, cant be given to a player its just derpy hooves)

[Lyssea]

@Crankie Doodle Pie

While we appreciate your attempts to make the acidic rain more explainable, we must still ask you to remove it. The pegasi are responsible for all weather, from cloudless skies to storms, and we do not believe they would allow acidic rain to fall in Equestria, nor do we really believe that such rain would exist there. We have never seen any signs of heavy polution.

For the next part we feel we might been a bit unclear earlier. While we did say canon we really should have clarified. We would consider most ponies who are well established within the fandom as 'canon' for RP-purposes, including Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, Carrot Top, and Ditzy Doo/Derpy Hooves. If the pony's been given a name int he fandom you can generally assume it'd be 'canon'. This is simply because these characters are established within the fandom, and as such fans may wish to play these characters. Because of this we'd like you to remove knowing Derpy, working for Photo Finish, and working at Sugarcube Corner, and being neighbors with Octavia and Vinyl.

There are also a few issues with her cutiemark. The first would be exactly what her talent is. You mention flying fast which is acceptable, but also making a force-field ( which seems to be a unicorn ability rather then a pegasus one ), being good at cloud-clearing, as well as making friends so well it's pretty much a talent as well.
While speed and cloud-clearing are acceptable at once, we'd like clarification on the topic. We also wish to point out that we do not allow ponies being as fast as Rainbow Dash. She's the pinacle of pony speed and all other ponies should be kept beneath her speed.

If you have any questions or comments regarding your character, feel free to contact me. Otherwise you are welcome to simply edit back and notify me, and we'll have another look. Thank you.

[Crankie Doodle Pie]

OK . Now its done, send me a message if something is wrong i explained everything and removed all cannons.

[Lyssea]

@Crankie Doodle Pie

My apologizes for the wait, I got distracted by the holidays.

We are curious for how she is "Too friendly to others" in your background. She generally appears to have a good relationship with other ponies, so we do not see any issues there. Do you mean she is too kind to her bullies? If that is so, could you please explain how? You mention that she defends herself and in the cutie mark-section how she is able to fight them back. Neither seems directly 'too friendly'.

We would still like you to remove Sugarcube Corner from the story. The shop is heavily canonized and we know who owns and runs it quite well. As such we'd like to keep any future player from being required to have your character as part of their background.

You make a mention that she meets a wonderbolt in Canterlot, who gives her a job at the post office. We do not really see how a Wonderbolt would be related to the postal service, nor why the pony in question needs to be a wonderbolt. We'd suggest that you make it a mailmare instead, it would make more sense.

After she leaves Ponyville for Canterlot and the service there you make no mention of her returning to Ponyville. Since most of the RP happens within Ponyville, or is directly related to Ponyville one way or another, it would be good for your character to have some reason to hang around the village. Otherwise you may be low on chances to RP.

Your cutiemark-section appears to be quite confusing. You mention that she is rather fast, but also add things which does not seem to be related. Things such as her liking nature, that ponies think she is evil because of her mane ( Which seems like quite the leap to make. Odd, perhaps, but evil? ), and that she somehow can make bullies say too much or something along those lines ( You may wish to clarify ). We fail to see how this is related to her cutie mark, and we think it might be better suited for the Personality-section and Background-section.

As a final note, because of the edits done some parts of your story are not as smooth as they were intended to be. You may wish to quickly look things over and edit it for readability. Many will come here the first time they RP with you to check out the profile, and may not be too happy if they find it too hard to read properly. This could color their view of you as Roleplaying is communication over written text, and having a slightly clumsy profile can give them the idea you aren't good at writing, even if you are.

As always, if you have any questions, comments, or just want to talk about your OC, feel free to contact me at any time and I'll be happy to speak with you on the topic.