Second try OC: Nightshade Vicentus

Name: Nightshade Vicentus

Species: Unicorn

Gender: Male

Age: He’s in his early 30’s though his appearance looks 20’ish

Appearance: Bright yellow eyes with green streaks that manifest themselves sometimes (product of one of his father’s failed experiments), black and white low zecora cut mane, zebra patterned coat, samurai knot style tail, katana blade in his side.

Quick Facts: He’s highly social but prefers that other people start conversation;
He’s a Zebracorn meaning he has a zebra’s agility, dexterity and appearance he still has a horn and magic.
Being an alchemist he normally carries around a satchel filled with healing, restorative and boosting potions, (healing: can cure any minor cuts and bruises, restorative: can cure a wide variety of diseases and poisons, Boosting: can enhance his strength, magic or speed output kind of like a mega adrenaline boost though the boosting potion can only boost one trait at a time meaning that while he has a boosted strength he still has normal speed and magic)

History: His parents are part of a troupe of traveling entertainers which consists of his mother, Bareelith a zebra whose area of expertise is swordplay, and father Nightcloud who specializes in making potions and alchemical brews and a few other people who aren’t important. By being born into the troupe he had to be a natural performer (or so his mother kept telling him), He trained with his mother in the art of swordplay since he could use magic, though he’s nowhere as good as her his swordplay skills are average at best, but enough to entertain and defend himself if the need arises. Apart from training with his mother he also helped his father with his alchemical experiments where he got the green streaks in his eyes (they actually manifest when he exceeds his normal magic output).
One day while training with his mother, his sword slipped from his magic grasp and gravely hurt his mother, his father quickly came to her aid but needed a final component to finish the healing potion, said component could only be found inside the everfree forest a place they were traveling near to, that night he snuck out and headed into the forest being followed by one of his mother’s assistant, while looking for the sap of a specific tree she announced her presence to him and warned him that he needed to turn back he didn’t took mind and continued on, having to battle his way thru a lot of cockatrice he made it back to the troupe alive with her and the sap. That night he snuck into his father’s lab and made the potion that’s when he got his cutie mark though he didn’t actually notice after his mother was healed.

Cutie Mark: A quill and a test tube criss crossed, surrounded by a black ribbon

Hope it complies with the norm.

@Vinpony® the psion
Thank you for your submission!
Unfortunately there are a couple of things to see to.

First of all we ask that you put his species at the top as it's information we'd like to be able to know easily, rather than having to find hints in the rest of the text.
Speaking of the species we also ask that you pick either a zebra or a unicorn. While we are okay with pony-zebra hybrids, we still ask that you keep your characters according to one of the species.

We are curious exactly what kind of experiments his father would be performing on an infant. It seems quite careless to do such a thing - in particularly since it clearly failed. We do have to ask you to remove the color-changing eyes, it is something that is only there to be special.

As for the potions, we simply wish to make sure that you know that the potions will never put someone over their natural limit - we do not wish to see anyone throw giant boulders or out-magic any of our princesses.

While the idea that ponies might use swords for display-shows, we can only assume it would be similar to juggling or knife-throwing, rather than actual fighting. We can agree that he might know how to juggle a sword, we really don't think he'd know actual fighting techniques.

Finally, a cutiemark is meant to showcase the one thing that this pony is really good at. Judging by the character this would be a test tube or the likes ( We'd suggest an Erlenmeyer flask ), as his sword-play is, as you state yourself, 'average' at best.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me. Otherwise just edit back and notify me.