Just really really hate people

I'm tired of the harassment, tired of people being assholes no matter where I go. I walk down the street or through a store, literally everyone stares. I try to act confident like nothing is happening but I hate it. I hear comments about me to other people, I see people taking photos on their phones. I used to just walk up to them and say something so everyone else would know just how much of a dick they were being but it doesn't even feel worth it anymore. I get harassed at work almost every day by customers and sometimes even coworkers. Of course the company I work for has a publicly posted policy that says that they will not tolerate this exact situation but of course they won't do shit about it.

I've had so many bad experiences coming out to people, lost friends, family never speaking to me again that just telling anyone usually becomes a tearful emotional breakdown because I'm so fucking scared of what's going to happen. My immediate family aside from my mom just acts like literally nothing is happening after I tell them which makes me feel almost as bad. I'm so fucking stressed to the point where my mom is just trying to take a week off from everything and take me to visit my relatives in California so we can spend some time together and I can actually be around some people who don't think I'm some kind of a freak.

I'm seriously considering quitting my job and just trying to find something where I'm not working in retail but I feel like the chances of finding something here are next to nothing so I just keep going to work dreading it every day trying to focus on the few coworkers I have who actually seem to care enough that they don't give me crap about being transgender or about my nails or about how I don't want kids. I can barely even go on my usual forums including this one without being harassed by people trying to convince me that I'm someone I'm not because they have some kind of misguided egotistical moral objection with no basis whatsoever.

That said, I do want to thank @Vaporeon @Rose Bubble and @Apple Bloom for being here for me lately. It's been hard and I'm starting to hit a breaking point where I'm tired of fighting and just want to stay home and cry all the time. I've considered self harm and suicide and honestly you three are some of the few things that are keeping me going at this point.

I hate to say this, but people are always going to assholes.
They will always find something to talk about or hate on, and there is no way you can ever please everyone.

I can't even imagine how hard it is for you, and I'm not going to pretend that I can relate.
What I do want to say is, please hang in there.
Along the crowd of bastards and bitches there are few who will enjoy your company no matter what, and if I were you I would focus on those people.
Having good friends is worth so much more than you can imagine, please allow them to get you through this.
I will be here when you need me, as ever, and I really hope you'll feel better soon.
I think you should take your mom up on the offer of taking you away for a bit.
Breaks are always good when you're feeling overwhelmed, and it can really set your mind at ease.

If you want a different job, that's understandable, but don't expect the talk to go away.
Try to find something before quitting the one you have right now.

Man up.

What @Lyra said is true. Sadly, douchebags and mean fuckers are everywhere.
Break should help you a bit. Even though we cannot separate ourselves from idiots, you can try to not pay attention to them. It's hard, but just try...
Friends are there to support you and help you carry through these problems. Cherish them.

Also, you should know better. Believe me, self harm and suicide is never the answer. There are only cons to those.
I know how it is. That you feel like you lost hope. Don't give up though. There is always something great at the end of bad things.

Life will reward you for your patience. Keep your head high and I'm sure that it will be better !

:hugs:

Taking a break might not be such a bad idea. Maybe even trying to find a new job. Maybe you won't find a new job, but it's not like you will lose anything just by looking.
Your problems might not go away if you do make some changes, but at least it's a start on possibly making them better.

I've come to see you as not just a friend, but a sister. I know the stress is too much to handle lately, but you've made it this far. Don't make me drive there and knock some sense into you.

All joking aside, you know that I'm here for you whenever possible. I know suicide may seem tempting to you now, but never give up. That's what you told me when I considered suicide. I say take time off and go to Cali with your mom. You always said you wanted to get close to her again. Seems like the perfect opportunity to me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyra

I hate to say this, but people are always going to assholes.
They will always find something to talk about or hate on, and there is no way you can ever please everyone.

I can't even imagine how hard it is for you, and I'm not going to pretend that I can relate.
What I do want to say is, please hang in there.
Along the crowd of bastards and bitches there are few who will enjoy your company no matter what, and if I were you I would focus on those people.
Having good friends is worth so much more than you can imagine, please allow them to get you through this.
I will be here when you need me, as ever, and I really hope you'll feel better soon.
I think you should take your mom up on the offer of taking you away for a bit.
Breaks are always good when you're feeling overwhelmed, and it can really set your mind at ease.

If you want a different job, that's understandable, but don't expect the talk to go away.
Try to find something before quitting the one you have right now.

---

I know, trust me people like you guys are what keeps me going every day. And about my job, I'm not just going to quit but I am going to start looking for something else.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by My dog ate my homework

Man up.

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No you

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nina

What @Lyra said is true. Sadly, douchebags and mean fuckers are everywhere.
Break should help you a bit. Even though we cannot separate ourselves from idiots, you can try to not pay attention to them. It's hard, but just try...
Friends are there to support you and help you carry through these problems. Cherish them.

Also, you should know better. Believe me, self harm and suicide is never the answer. There are only cons to those.
I know how it is. That you feel like you lost hope. Don't give up though. There is always something great at the end of bad things.

Life will reward you for your patience. Keep your head high and I'm sure that it will be better !

:hugs:

---

Thanks for the support. I know self-harm and whatnot aren't the answer but sometimes it's just tough to think rationally in these situations.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pwny Express

Taking a break might not be such a bad idea. Maybe even trying to find a new job. Maybe you won't find a new job, but it's not like you will lose anything just by looking.
Your problems might not go away if you do make some changes, but at least it's a start on possibly making them better.

---

Like I said, I'm going to start looking for other job opportunities. Also I do have fall break coming up so I at least get a break from school for a bit.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vaporeon

I've come to see you as not just a friend, but a sister. I know the stress is too much to handle lately, but you've made it this far. Don't make me drive there and knock some sense into you.

All joking aside, you know that I'm here for you whenever possible. I know suicide may seem tempting to you now, but never give up. That's what you told me when I considered suicide. I say take time off and go to Cali with your mom. You always said you wanted to get close to her again. Seems like the perfect opportunity to me.

---

Don't worry, I know there are too many people who would kill me if I went suicidal so that's not an option. And trust me, I would never be able to tear myself away from you guys, you mean too much to me. I'm going to talk to my mom about at least doing something during this fall break but we both really want to go on this trip so I think it's going to happen. Anyway as always, thanks for all the support. I know how busy you are and I'm grateful for you being here for me whenever you can be and you know I'm always here for you too. Love you sis.

I hate to be the "victim blamer" here, but I feel the need to ask..

You say that everyone stares, takes pictures, and harasses you at work - surely something has to be prompting that? What is about you that's distracting all these people from their daily business and making you stand out as someone to ridicule? I'm not trying to be mean here, but there has to be a reason. Are you overweight, do you have unconventional mannerisms, etc? What's making you stand out in a way others perceive negatively? You'll find that the vast majority of these 'mean' people are just lacking in self-reflection and acting out of ignorance; making fun is just the 'done thing' to them and they don't think about the pain it causes; basically they never grew up past high school. Heck, I myself sometimes notice I'm doing the same thing online.

Now for you... Stuff you need to understand.

Most people in our current generation have been raised with unrealistic expectations about just about everything. "All you need is love, maaan!", "Follow your dreams!" (just look at Disney movies; they peddle this message like Prozac to teenagers). Why do they say all this stuff if it isn't true? Simple, it sells. Your parents sell you the "you're special and unique!" to indulge in their pride and keep you quiet, educational establishments sell you "follow your heart and the money will follow" to get money out of you, even if the degree is worthless.

"I'm tired of fighting"
Good news, there doesn't need to be a fight or a struggle. Your excessive concern about other people's attitudes (I'm sorry, that's what it is) comes from an unconscious desire to control them. You want them to be what you think people should be like, and when they aren't meeting your expectations, you write them off as selfish, mean, etc. I'm not picking on you specifically; 99% of people do it to some degree, even subconsciously. You'll be much happier if you realize your unconscious attempts to possess the world around you and try to kick the habit.

"But they're picking on me!"
So? Are they physically assaulting you, or trying to violate any of your rights (life, liberty, and property)? If not, they aren't doing anything you can't simply shrug off with some resolve and perspective. You will be much better off if you learn to stop worrying about others; most of them can either support themselves or have others who support them.

TL;DR...

- Find out what it is that's catching these people's attention, and rectify it.
- Most people aren't evil, they just aren't thinking ahead.
- Stop wanting life to be fair (within reason).
- Other people aren't your problem.

In closing. Look up a guy on Youtube called Aaron Clarey. He runs a 'business' called "Asshole Consulting" and he has some good advice to share on a number of issues. Also, this article from Cracked might help: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-...better-person/

This thread is pretty old. I'm guessing you found it by accident, Geneva, so I'm going to go ahead and archive it. Thanks for the response, however.