OC: Ivory (Another try)

Name: Ivory. Full name is Ivory Vogorian.

Gender: Mare

Species: Unicorn

Age: 16 (About my age, close to adulthood so I can keep up with feelings. )

Appearance: She has emerald-green eyes and a basic ivory colored mane and tail like the ivory tusk. Her fur is grassy green her horn is the same color as her fur.


Facts: Ivory can be anything, Ivory King is a DLC in Dark Souls 2, Ivory is a weapon Dante uses in Devil May Cry, Ivory is a cool name is an opinion, Twilight is best. That's an opinion. (Not sure if I should have silly facts, just for giggles. ) Also Ivory is pretty and geeky and ivory is also a color.

Background: Ivory is a teen mare gone through her early teens, she is a writer, gamer, and enjoys care-taking and participating in events and making good friends. Her mind is scattered. She is kinda hyper like Pinkie, and she smiles a lot. Born in Ponyville Hospital, her mom and dad bought a fresh new home in Ponyville Square. Her mom sells flowers in the market to get income and her dad sells pies he bakes to pay for luxury and entertainment and she ended up always spoiled and playful as an only child. She loves helping. She always looked up to all the mane six, and Spike and Luna. Ivory done normal jobs, cooking and cleaning,the house. She was always happy and nothing bad ever seemed to cross her path growing up. She loves to travel and loves to make ponies giggle. She uses her magic for silly purposes, and made the foals laugh. She entertains the elderly with magic tricks and always attempts to help out. Working late nights, she gets tired. She is pretty amazing so far, showing joy. She reads books when she can. She likes to attend theaters in Ponyville but always looks forward to stepping a hoof on the Canterlot grounds, looking up to the place from her home. She always drawn the knights in her sketch book. She earned her cutie mark 3 months after her birthday when she was attending a sick young colt in Ponyville hospital, as it appeared to be a smiling daffodil with a few sparkles around it. She was happy since then and she has changed a little from there, a little more happier when she found her talent.

Personality: Happy and cheerful and caring all in one, she is outgoing and lovely. She enjoys listening to others and making them happy. She doesn't stop until her job is done and hears joyful comments from other ponies, like, she isn't happy unless everypony is happy.

Cutie Mark: Her mark is a smiley daffodil sparkles around it, representing her joy in taking care and making sure people are happy and healthy. A reminder of her nature and caring loving presence and that she is always will be the flower to brighten one's day and the magic behind the joy.

@Link
Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately there are a couple of issues.

When reading this character it seems that she might be doing... a bit too much. She is a writer, gamer, foalsitter, works with the elderly, has three jobs, likes to travel, is a magican, cooks, cleans, draws things... it simply seems a bit too much for any one pony to be able to handle at once without burning out. This is particularly easy for someone who gets 'very very tired easily'. We'd suggest that you solve two things at once; give her a more focused area of things to do ( such as Magical Tricks or caretaking ). This would also give her a cutiemark. Based on your character we would suggest something themed around entertaining others - perhaps an actress or artist?
Speaking of the cutiemark we prefer our ponies to have a cutiemark around the age of 12. While it can be given up the age of 16 we like a really good explanation for it which you unfortunately don't really have.

Finally we would also like you to give us a bit more background on her. You have provided a long list of what she does - but we know nothing about her past. Does she have siblings? Where does her family live? How comes she goes to canterlot sometimes? Does she live by herself? This and much else you could give in the background.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me with them. Otherwise edit back and notify me when you are ready.

@Lyssea: Alright, made a few edits.

@Link

We have decided to accept this. Welcome to the RP~

@Lyssea: Thank you so much.