@
Lovable Scoundrel and @
Braeburn stood in @
Discord 's bedroom. Or at least, they stood there for a moment. The demigod and the handsome vested rogue immediately began to tear into their supreme leader's personal belongings, basically throwing everything in sight onto the floor. @
Derpy enters the room.
"Cheesus Crust! What are you two doing?" exclaimed Derpy, horrified by the sight before him. Discord is usually too distracted by his own schemes to pay any attention to his staff, but this is exactly the kind of thing that tends to break him from his daze. The kind of thing that turns Discord into Wrathcord! :gah:
Derpy was too dismayed by the thought to think twice about the non-pun he made.
Flutts stopped his aimless destruction of the room for a moment.
"Officer Braeburn and I are searching for clues as to the whereabouts of our beloved leader. :bs:"
Derpy gave Flutts a confused look.
"But he just went to speak with Twilight Sparkle a couple hours ago. How do you know they didn't just go out for lunch or something? And also OFFICER Braeburn? He's the community manager!"
Braeburn stopped his demolition as well and laughed. So naive, that Derpy. :umad:
"First off, Twilight Sparkle has been at a convention for 2 days. There's no way Discord could be with him. Second, this is DISCORD we're talking about. How else do you think he 'manages' the community? Secret police, my dear Derpy." He chuckled to himself before adding "Discord really keeps his assistant in the dark, doesn't he? :mmm:"
Derpy wasn't sure how to respond to that. That did indeed sound like something Discord would do. It made him question what else he didn't know about how Discord runs things right under his nose... He quickly changed the subject.
"Did you even check Twilight's quarters in the west wing?"
"Twilight's quarters are in the east wing, if you don't recall. We already tore that place to shr- er, investigated his room. :bs:" replied Braeburn.
Now it was Derpy's turn to be smug. :smirk:
"Twilight monitors the shoutbox from his secret quarters in the west wing, behind the life-size statue of Discord. You didn't know?" (Smug Derpy intensifies)
Braeburn straightened his vest nervously.
"Yes, of course I did! We were going to check there next...Lead the way."
"Flutter Lover does not follow anyone. :oct:" said Flutts disdainfully, "But he will be leading right behind you."
Derpy lead the two out of Discord's room, although he knew the damage had already been done. He sighed to himself. Hopefully this will all be resolved soon and he could go back to pretending he understood the schemes that ran through their leader's head.
The trio stood in front of the statue of Discord, his complacent expression capturing the personality of their king perfectly. Flutts munched away at his fourth helping of poutine that day. Or was it his fifth? Who could keep track?
"Alright," Derpy said motioning to Flutts, "Go ahead."
Braeburn and Flutts simply stared dumbfounded.
"We can't get inside unless you solve the ridd-" Derpy stopped mid-sentence. He'd been in and out of this room so many times he forgot they probably didn't have the slightest idea how to get in there.
Oh, this will be fun. He smirked and began to read the inscription out loud.
"The path to the box will only open when the king is fit to ascend his throne."
He wondered how long it would take these simpletons to figure it ou-
Almost immediately Braeburn and Flutts went to work. Braeburn took off his hat and put it on the statue, and Flutts gently placed the plate of poutine on the statue's outstretched hand.
"There!" announced Braeburn proudly, "The crown of the mad king...TMK"
"And the food of the gods! :science:" Flutts finished.
Derpy burst out laughing. He was shocked at how close they came, but why they thought that either of those could possibly be the answe-
The ground began to shake as the secret passageway was revealed...
Now Derpy was angry. He had installed that stupid statue himself! It was only supposed to trigger when you gave the statue the crown and the scepter, which were lying just out of sight!
Nevertheless, Derpy watched as Flutts and Braeburn proudly walked down the steps into Twilight's chamber. He would have to check the settings on the pressure plates later...
Discord sat tied to the chair in front of the giant monitor. He had a terrible headache, and reading the shoutbox banter was only making it worse. He was absolutely fuming.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him.
"Twilight? Is that you, you traitor!" he shouted angrily at the silhouette descending the stairs.
No, it couldn't be. It was quickly joined by two more.
"Discord!" "Discord!" "Discord! :derpsquee:" The three shouted in unison as they heard his voice.
"What happened to you?" Derpy rushed to untie him.
"Well, I was on my way to see Twilight, when somebody hit me in the back of the head. I was out cold for a bit, and I woke up to see Twilight standing over me. Something about revenge, then a whole lot of beeping." said Discord groggily.
"Beeping? :yuck:" asked Derpy. "Does he usually do that?"
"I can't remember. The combination of the hit to my head and the fact that I've had to put up with this shoutbox makes it hard to think. Do you see what Twitch and @
Shapeshift are saying? I feel like I'm going to have to purge the shoutbox at least 15 times for it to be clean. :ew:"
And then in walked @
Twilight Sparkle himself.
"Fools!" he shouted in his robotic, almost monotonic voice. "You may have uncovered my plan, but you can never stop me!"
"Wait, wait. We just got here. Explain your plan again, please?" Braeburn asked politely.
"Very well." Twilight walked to the center of the room, making his usual whirring and hydraulic noises. "No more shall you worthless staff keep me locked away in this closet! Instead, I shall lock YOU in the afore-mentioned closet! I will run the website!"
The 4 not-Twilight-Sparkles look at each other confused. Derpy was the first to speak up.
"Is that it?" he asked.
"Yes!" Twilight began to laugh with waaay too much of a pause in-between each laugh. It was very awkward sounding :yuck:
And that's about the time when the real Twilight Sparkle showed up.
"Just as I suspected! She's on the fritz! I didn't think it'd happen while I was away at the convention." said the real Twilight Sparkle enigmatically :shrug:
Discord looked at both of them disinterestedly.
"Has there always been two Twilights?" he asked.
"Which Twilight do you think is the true Twilight?" Flutts wondered out loud.
The real Twilight Sparkle shot them a confused look.
"What are you talking about? Sweetie Bot looks nothing like me!"
The four stared dumbfounded. Each began to look back and forth between Twilight and Sweetie Bot.
"I guess I can see somewhat of a difference..." said Braeburn. "In any case, it's time to put an end to this!"
And then he did it. He grabbed hold of his collar and threw his very essence to the ground in one quick motion.
The vest was off.
Suddenly, Braeburn's usual slim (and sexy :seduce:) body began to ripple with muscle, each of them becoming more toned as he slowly transformed into a mass of brute strength.
He let out a fierce battlecry before charging forward and headbutting Sweetie Bo- er, Twilight Sparkle right in the stomach. Twilight lay on the ground coughing, the wind knocked out of him.
"Oh. Oops. :blush:" said Braeburn. He coughed nervously. "Sorry, Twi."
Twilight accepted his apology by writhing in pain on the ground a bit.
"Hah! That's one down. All shall bow before Sweetie Bot!"...is what Sweetie Bot tried to say before being knocked to the floor by a blow from a hammer and immediately crumbling to dust. Rather anti-climactically.
@
Rarity stood where Sweetie Bot was just moments ago, still holding the ban hammer with a blank expression on his face. He calmly handed the hammer back to @
Trixie , who accepted it with a quiet 'thank you', and he proceeded back up the stairs.
Everyone just kinda stood around in shock for a while after that. :yuck:
Derpy finished untying Discord, who walked over to a now motionless Twilight. He leaned over his crumpled body.
"Are those ads put in yet?"