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SilverWing
Thank you for your submission! While it looks fairly good overall, there are a few issues I'd like to talk with you about.
The first is the wing-blades, which are not canon and quite frankly does not entirely seem to fit into the MLP-world. I'd say you remove them entirely.
Secondly is the guards themselves. As pictured in your background they are a full-fledged army rather then the mostly ceremonial/police-duties we have seen before. You'd have to tone it down.
This also includes the research-division, we really have not see anything remotely close to such a thing ( remember, more a police-force then anything ). They'd have to be an independent group at the very least. Also curious why the highly skilled precision flier is working a desk-job ( although it is acceptable ).
We will also mention that there is no high school as far as we know, only an elementary school. Since all ponies gain their cutiemark during this time they then take on apprenticeship or a direct career, and there is no need for a general high-school. If he wished to become a guard, he ought to been in their training after elementary.
We're also curious as to where he was exposed to explosions, they are not mentioned before or since.
The sight-problems, what kind are they? ( and why not just use glasses? )
We will also not let you change his age at a whim. While there are threads dedicated to certain, similar things ( such as everyone's a foal ) it will only be confusing if you change age in between threads who are not specifically about a certain age/time.
Finally, if you wish to include someone else's OC in your application, we would like to have their approval, in particularly if it is something as big as being coltfriends.