Recreating my World
by, 05-24-2013 at 01:00 AM (1182 Views)
There's so much that you can do with your imagination. We often underestimate our imagination with intelligence, giving it far less credit than we should. People will tell you do to ordinary things in life, such as get an education, get a job, and a family and a home. To me this isn't putting much effort, and you're not using yourself to its full potential. You don't need a job or an education to accomplish the things you imagine into reality. Sure, those things may help open more doors to your adventure, but if you're never inventful with your newly acquired knowledge, then what's the point?
Lately I've been rather bored and frustrated. I have been exploring myself and putting myself in situations that are new to me, but these are typical things we learn anyway to grow as adults. Sometimes I can't stand being around too many people so I drown myself in drugs to ignore what is happening in the background. The world I currently live in is not something I entirely enjoy living no matter how hard I try. I always end up feeling upset and frustrated that I act fully enjoy these activities with other people. I feel so isolated and alone even when I am around people. I have a tough time relating with these people, it all feels so typical and nothing out of ordinary happens. Everything can be anticipated from the beginning and the result is always the same with these activities.
I feel like I am stalling, waiting for something cool to happen, but only left with my expectations to be swept under the carpet. When I'm under the influence, life is perceived in a much different approach. I feel like I am welcomed by everyone and everything, all of my senses feel genuine and it feels like I am in tune with the world for once, like, I can finally be whole with this planet without feeling discriminated and isolated by everything. It's the same feeling when you dream, the fantasies you wish to be involved with, but when you wake up you are disappointed by the fact that your life is dull and boring.
I have no idea what I am rambling about up this point since the feelings inside of me are so suppressed with anger, frustration, sadness, and many other feeling I wish to not feel all of the time. I have to push these feelings aside in order to accomplish the duties I am given with for the day or else I fall behind from the rest of the world. Sometimes I wish to just sleep and never wake up from a dream, because I now when finally wake up, I will only be left with disappointment. I only have myself to blame.